Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
