Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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