So drunk its hurt
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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