I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I looked at my own cervix.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
