3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
