nut hugger
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
