Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
