I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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