i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
