If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
