I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
