Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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