dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
