I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
