Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
