did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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