bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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