Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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