I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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