My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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