you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
