So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
