Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
