Will you blow on my dice?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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