I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
