obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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