what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
