i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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