this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
