im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
