The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Randomize
