i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
