Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
