I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
