An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
