So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
