Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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