Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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