R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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