after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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