Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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