I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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