Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
