so that wasnt chicken after all
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
