so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
