So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
