i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
