Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
