So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
