if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Everything about him screamed your future.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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