Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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